Engine - Englisch für Ingenieure

Noah 2012

posted: 27.03.2012 in The Last Straw

If the apocalypse predicted for the end of this year is a flood, then we all are going to drown. Noah has done his best, but he hasn't been able to finish the new Ark. He has had too many problems:

First, he had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and the Lord's plans didn't meet Code. So he had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then his neighbours objected, claiming he was violating zoning by building the Ark in his front yard. Noah is still waiting for a variance from the city planning commission.

The next problem was getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the hermit beetle. Noah had to convince the Nature Conservation Agency that he needed the wood to save the beetles. But they wouldn't let him catch any beetles. So, no beetles.

Then the carpenters formed a union and went on strike. He had to negotiate a settlement before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now he's got 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no beetles.

When Noah started gathering up the animals, he got sued by an animals rights group. They objected to taking only two of each kind. Just when he got the suit dismissed, the Nature Conservation Agency notified him that he couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on the proposed Flood. Finally, the THW wanted a map of the proposed new flood plan. Noah sent them a globe.
engine Nr. 1 / März 2012

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